I started off the New Year right. I started it jobless. That’s right folks. I quit!
Sounds exciting but quitting didn’t turn out quite the way I imagined. Rather than submitting my resignation with a heroic shove to the shocked and disappointed expression of my supervisor, I slipped my notice quietly, sneaking out the back door relatively unnoticed by coworkers. Continue reading
Today I was asked to lie.
More specifically, my supervisor is asking me to input false data in thousands of cases for the next 3 weeks so that our company can report better outcomes to our internal client (yes, the one that cuts our checks). In other words, we would be saying we were more effective in empowering families than we actually were, so that we can make more money.
It’s nothing new, but this time the request came from one of my superiors I most trust and respect. That was disheartening. Most frustrating of all, however, is that instead of improving our service delivery so we can more effectively help these welfare families, we cover up the reality of the situation so as to save our own comfy asses.
Each time I’ve been asked to lie, I’ve said no, but the expectation of dishonesty for the sake of company profit (at the sake of the impoverished) is beating down on me.
Today was a turning point. I have long wanted to be an entrepreneur and start my own business. Now is the time.
I’m writing this blog because I’ve had enough.
I’ve had enough of fear, dishonesty, ineffectiveness, mediocrity, boredom and suppression. I’ve had enough with settling for a “safe” life so that my aspirations won’t threaten, offend or unnerve others.
Today I commit to living a life of 100% authenticity. I commit to telling the truth in every moment.
I commit to choosing beautiful uncertainty over tepid security.
I might fail from time to time, but that’s no matter. I am at the tipping point. To cling to the edge now, rather than to let myself fall, will most certainly be the death of my spirit. And it’s much too early for that fire to extinguish.