Tag Archives: self-actualization

Day 74: Embracing Uncertainty

As I’ve been reading and rereading the self-help books that will somehow transform my mind and make this entrepreneurial path suddenly easy (yeah right), I’ve had several light bulb moments.  Not those big beautiful incandescent globes.  No, I’m talking tiny, twinkling gnome-hat bulbs–the kind found draped over shrubberies during the holiday season. Itty bitty shiny realizations.

Realization #1

Many of the blog stories inspiring folks to trade a nine-to-five for their own online business have a lot to do with exotic world travel.  Bloggers gush about remote work locations in the Bahamas, and for the first time ever, readers get excited about what’s possible for their lives.  These stories are important and very much needed.

Unfortunately, they don’t do a whole lot for me because I’ve traveled my ass off; I’ve been to Europe five times.  Five!!  I’m not saying that to be boastful.  I am fortunate to have a mother who introduced me to international travel at the ripe age of 11.  So, I caught the travel bug early and made European backpacking a top priority.  When something is a priority, you figure out how to make it happen again and again and again.

But something has changed.  My priorities are shifting.  And now I’m talking to myself:

Lindsey, why the hell did you quit your job?

Because I was miserable.  Duh.

Yeah, but what about it was making you so miserable?

You mean, besides the soul-sucking management practices, prison-like glow of overhead fluorescents and confining cubicle walls?

Yeah, besides that.

Good question.  I was miserable because I had the skill and the means to fully empower clients in improving their lives, but was required to hold back and do less for the client due to company constraints.

Imagine Superman forced to ride a public bus to save a woman from a burning building, only to find her already crispy by the time he gets there. That was my level of frustration.

As much as I love the flexibility and freedom of working for myself, it’s the opportunity to do truly meaningful work and better peoples lives to the full extent of my creativity, that drives me.  That is my priority now.

Realization #2

The scariest thing about quitting didn’t have to do with loss of income.  I didn’t quit that job.  I quit traditional employment as a whole.  I’ve made a commitment to pursuing self-employment and entrepreneurship for the rest of my life.  It’s not that I’ll never have a job again.  The fact is I might temporarily need to sustain myself with a part time gig here or there until I figure out how to make money independently, but I will never again rely solely on an HR Department for my economic survival.

Realization #3

I also made a commitment to create a livelihood that’s in harmony with my deepest values: honesty, sincerity, connection, loving-kindness.  This seems like a tall order for such a naive and inexperienced entrepreneur.  It means I face questions like: “Is there such thing as honest marketing?” and “If not, can I create it and still be successful?”

I’m doing my best to embrace the uncertainty of it all (with a lot of help from the admirable Jonathan Fields).  My progress has been somewhat slow, but I have made progress.  That’s all I’m counting for right now.

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Day 69: How Honesty Builds Courage

This was my Weekend

I stand watching four handsome firemen extinguish my car engine, which had spontaneously caught fire at 70 mph on the freeway.

Are you f-ing kidding me?

Nope.

That’s really what happened.

Don’t worry.  I’m all in one piece.  But, I must be freaking out.  Right?  I mean, I have no job, and now I am sans vehicle in a city that has a crappy public transit system, which makes any kind of temp work or job hunting immeasurably more difficult. Time to panic, right? Continue reading

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Day 65: Take This Job and Shove It

New Beginnings

I started off the New Year right.  I started it jobless.  That’s right folks.  I quit!

Sounds exciting but quitting didn’t turn out quite the way I imagined.  Rather than submitting my resignation with a heroic shove to the shocked and disappointed expression of my supervisor, I slipped my notice quietly, sneaking out the back door relatively unnoticed by coworkers. Continue reading

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Day 42: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

The Minimalists

I met these great guys last Saturday.  Their names are Josh and Ryan and they write a blog about minimalism.  Well.  It’s not really about minimalism.  It’s about living a meaningful life and how making money and acquiring stuff doesn’t bring the fulfillment or satisfaction we think it will.

Ryan and Josh are on a tour to promote their new book, meet other cool minimalists, like moi, and that’s how I got to meet them.  Saturday they came to Phoenix and spoke about how they’ve changed their lives; they spoke about letting go of possessions and fancy corporate titles, about living with less and creating more. Continue reading

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Day 28: Do Just One Thing

Gum tree & footpath to Baldwin
 

Some days, from the moment I wake up until the time I go to sleep, are just plain bad.  No matter how much positive thinking I do, I can’t shake the negativity.  It’s like the 24-hr-cold of emotion.

Today was such a day.

I’m not telling you this to get sympathy.  I don’t expect you to care.  Honestly.  But I noticed that I deal with these kinds of days differently than I used to, and I hope that my transparency can be of some use. Continue reading

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Time to Get Naked

Whenever taking on a new project or making a major life change, my thinking becomes clouded and fuzzy.  In conversation, I stutter over finding the right words to express myself and, in mid-sentence, will forget what I was going to say (that’s always impressive on a first date).

This very thing has been happening to me lately, and it’s interfered with my writing too (as you may have noticed).  At first, I thought I wasn’t writing because I had run out of ideas.  The truth is that what’s been consuming my brain power is the thing I am most excited and most fearful of writing about. Continue reading

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Day 9: The 100% Honesty Project

Clay Chimenea

It has been a few days since my last Truth Experiment Update and I have oodles to share.   So far, the experience has been mostly positive, though at times, uncomfortable.  I’ll start with the positives.

Honesty and Family

Last Saturday was Cousin Night at Ben’s House.  Picture this: 5 cousins, 2 family friends and a black cat gathered around an outside patio table, lots of beer, a few cigarettes, grilled bratwurst and fire in a terracotta clay chimenea.

I am the first to arrive, followed by my cousin, Kamryn.  With a gleam in her eye, the first thing she says to me is  “Oooh! I have so many questions!!”  Naturally, my cousins  have been following the blog and find the Truth Experiment an opportune time to get me to “spill the dirt”.  I say okay. Continue reading

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Honesty Quotes

Soulful Quotes

A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie.  ~Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment

Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind.  ~Austin O’Malley Continue reading

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The Start of Something Scary

After writing my last post, I thought “Oh god.  This blog has already become depressing”.  But that’s not what I want.

I don’t want my writing to be yet one more platform for people to feel bad about the world they live in.  Nor do I want this to become the narcissistic catharsis that so many other blogs become. So, I asked myself: “what do I want to come from this?”

These are the answers that came up:

I want to help people

I want people to feel better about their lives

I want them to feel more connected and less lost, confused, or lonely

I want people to know that it’s okay to be honest, real and open, and that their true selves are completely lovable

I want people to become more self-aware  so that they can make the kinds of choices that lead to richer and more joyful lives

I want to subject myself to a social experiment of 100% transparency, 100% self-acceptance and 0% shame, and document the entire thing on this blog.

Whew!  All of those statements feel incredibly true, and having put them down has somehow lifted a weight in my body that I hadn’t noticed was there.  That very last statement (the one about transparency) scares the bejeesus out of me (literally my arm hairs stood on end when I wrote it) which is a good sign that I absolutely should do it.

*sigh*

Here goes nothin’.

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