This was my Weekend
I stand watching four handsome firemen extinguish my car engine, which had spontaneously caught fire at 70 mph on the freeway.
Are you f-ing kidding me?
That’s really what happened.
Don’t worry. I’m all in one piece. But, I must be freaking out. Right? I mean, I have no job, and now I am sans vehicle in a city that has a crappy public transit system, which makes any kind of temp work or job hunting immeasurably more difficult. Time to panic, right? Continue reading
I started off the New Year right. I started it jobless. That’s right folks. I quit!
Sounds exciting but quitting didn’t turn out quite the way I imagined. Rather than submitting my resignation with a heroic shove to the shocked and disappointed expression of my supervisor, I slipped my notice quietly, sneaking out the back door relatively unnoticed by coworkers. Continue reading
I had coffee with a friend yesterday who asked me what my end goal is. What is the purpose of this blog? I had such a hard time articulating my response. I had difficulty because part of my purpose is intuitive, and I haven’t concretely defined all the aspects of it. But also, when asked so directly, I stall out of embarrassment. I expect people to think that what I’m about to say is saccharine or naïve.
The answer is that I don’t want to hurt any more, and I don’t want others to hurt any more. It seems a good portion of human suffering is avoidable, and that a lot of our suffering is caused by the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we tell others. Continue reading
photo credit: Buzzfeed, Dave Stropera
This little social experiment has given birth to some incredible conversations about fear and authenticity. In one of these conversation a friend recently confided that, as hard as she tries to be honest, she often holds back what she’s thinking for fear of offending someone.
That’s a legitimate concern. In a materialist culture of good-better-best, most people have underlying fears about their worth, and when we’re open about our opinions, we chance to stumble over each others’ deeply buried insecurities. I know because, a few weeks ago, another friend stumbled over mine. Continue reading
A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie. ~Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment
Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O’Malley Continue reading
Today I was asked to lie.
More specifically, my supervisor is asking me to input false data in thousands of cases for the next 3 weeks so that our company can report better outcomes to our internal client (yes, the one that cuts our checks). In other words, we would be saying we were more effective in empowering families than we actually were, so that we can make more money.
It’s nothing new, but this time the request came from one of my superiors I most trust and respect. That was disheartening. Most frustrating of all, however, is that instead of improving our service delivery so we can more effectively help these welfare families, we cover up the reality of the situation so as to save our own comfy asses.
Each time I’ve been asked to lie, I’ve said no, but the expectation of dishonesty for the sake of company profit (at the sake of the impoverished) is beating down on me.
Today was a turning point. I have long wanted to be an entrepreneur and start my own business. Now is the time.