New Beginnings
I started off the New Year right. I started it jobless. That’s right folks. I quit!
Sounds exciting but quitting didn’t turn out quite the way I imagined. Rather than submitting my resignation with a heroic shove to the shocked and disappointed expression of my supervisor, I slipped my notice quietly, sneaking out the back door relatively unnoticed by coworkers.
And rather than driving into the sunset with a cocky grin and the fervor to take on a brave new world, I retreated to the womb of my living room couch and lay there for almost a week in a zombie-like stupor while the movie “Office Space” played on repeat in the background. Yikes! Okay, so it wasn’t that bad, but it was close.
Gratefully, the stupor has worn off, and I feel human again. And with my reentry into the human race, my desire to create and inspire through a life of honesty and transparency has been reborn! Voilà!! I give you… a new post!
I know. Not that exciting, but what is exciting is that, today, I felt something I haven’t felt in several years: spontaneous joy.
Here is how it happened. I was driving in my little beat up Corolla, making a turn onto the freeway, when I glanced at my dog who was sitting shot-gun. Her glossy black fur bounced with sunlight and suddenly the feeling washed over me–pure, bright, heart-tickling joy.
For no particular reason.
I hadn’t thought any happy thoughts. In fact, my mind was pretty empty. At one moment I was in a state of wordlessness and next there was joy. It lasted for only 15 seconds, but it was enough to affirm that despite all my worry, fear and doubt, I am making good choices. I’m getting closer to happiness, baby step by baby step. Fabulous!
A Fresh Start
So, now it’s time to do a little housekeeping, both mentally and physically. Since my time is all my own, it would be incredibly easy to fritter it all away and have nothing to show for myself two months from now. Although, I had given up goals for a period of time (details to be provided in another post), I’ve decided to reclaim them. Right now I simply need firm, solid goals to keep me grounded.
My first goal is to sell all my belongings except: my computer, phone, kindle, desk, lamp, guitar, keyboard, sewing machine and mannequin, clothing/shoes, purse, wallet, a few select books and kitchen items, my bicycle, my car, my dog and a few plants. Sounds doable. I let you know how it goes.
Finally, you might be wondering “Lindsey, did you make any New Year’s Resolutions for 2012?” The answer is yes. While I’ve already adopted a few lifestyle changes with the beginning of the year (more details to come) they really are only a by-product of the one New Year’s Resolution that I’ve fully committed to.
I resolve to stop compromising my principles and instead make choices that foster and support my deep-seated values. In other words, I choose Happiness.
Hope you are happy and healthy in the new year. I missed you.
You know I’m totally with you on quitting thing and it’s good to see you getting on with REAL changes. Also: Don’t you ever dare and sell that guitar! Playing music is expression and a beautiful way of doing so. I for one could live without the keyboard. Kinda hard to find a plug on the beach
Happy new year!
Thanks Holger
. Yeah, I was thinking about keeping the guitar and ditching the keyboard, but for different reasons. I took piano instruction for 7 years, but haven’t committed to the guitar. I still haven’t learned to play. I think I lean on the keyboard as a sort of musical crutch when I want to play something, so at this rate I may never learn guitar.
What year Corolla do you drive? I had a ’96 Corolla DX as my first car, I cried when I had to let her go…
year: 1990
color: red with a dash of extra character (i.e. body damage)
One other thing about “spontaneous joy”: I was reading the other day in Matthieu Ricard’s “Happiness. A Guide To Developing Life’s Most Important Skill” and there is an exercise in it about how you should find out whether your happiness depends on outer circumstances or whether it is your state of mind. I thought that this ability to feel happiness just because of some sight, smell, feel or whatnot, something rather small and overlooked by most is that sort of state of mind. I was happy to find that i already – without knowing it – was on my way. And i think you are too.
you know what i like you. sometimes i would like to quit my job as im tired of doing the same thing everyday but I can’t, i pretend to be happy well maybe because i need it for my family they depend on me and in my country when you don’t have money (active income) you can’t live longer
(a big laugh) but because I am a Christian who respects life given talent I tried to do things in a positive way…that’s why im into blogging right now to express some deepest emotions that I could not totally do in reality… but with the decisions you made in life it’s really outstanding as long as you are happy who cares…just do it and you can make it….:)
by the way i am just curious the question is personal but how old are you?
m just a bit curious…(its up to you if you answer me or just give me an email:) i saw ou are following my blog that’s why i am a bit interested…that someone gets interested on my write ups…
WOW! Lindsey, what an excellent piece of writing! And, what courage _to quit a job without having lined up another one. That takes balls! The very best wishes to you, Lindsey, as you launch a new beginning. May the force be with you! Peace and Blessing to you!
You’ve got guts, LIndsey, and I applaud them. And you too, of course.
All the best for you in the new year!
Firstly, your dog is adorable!
Secondly, congratulations!! It must be SO exciting to have no itinerary every day. I hope you have a smooth, enjoyable journey, and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.
P.S.- No bed or couch?
Thanks Megyn
Exciting and a little scary at the same time, but yeah no bed or couch. I’m going to experiment with hammocks/sleeping bags for a while 
Awesome!!! I LOVE sleeping in sleeping bags, but as long as I’m married, that’s not much of an option. If you need to borrow one for a time, you’re more than welcome to borrow one of ours
Good luck! I hope this is everything you dreamed, and congratulations on having the guts to do it!
Congratulations, Lindsey! This is totally badass!
And I love that your list of items to keep is pretty much exactly as mine was, back when I made a similar life transition. Well, I didn’t have a mannequin.
Can’t wait to watch this all unfold. Keep at it and enjoy the ride
Charlie
Haha! Mannequins are awesome. Mine is headless and named Suzie
. Thanks Charlie!
Congrats L-Fox!
Time for massive action. You will be fine. Jump and the net will appear.
If you need a sounding board to bounce ideas off of, let me know. I’ve walked a few miles in your shoes. Enjoy the journey.
Thanks David! I will indeed
I’ve missed you, too! You’ll be be alright. We’ll both be alright. I’ve also quit. Today is my last day and I couldn’t be happier!
Hooray Sharon!! Congrats!!!
Congratulations Lindsey for being so brave and following your principles. I did this just over three years ago now and have never regretted it. Your Guardian Angel will see you through. Good luck Lindsey and be blessed.
You can definitely do it!
I left an unhappy relationship (of 4.5yrs), moved out, sold everything, bought a laptop and a roundtrip ticket to Bali. Everything I own has to fit into my travel backpack. I have no itinerary, I just know where I have to be in 1 month. Terrifying but so exciting! (I am couchsurfing until I leave)
I can work from anywhere, and living expenses are much smaller there, so why not go on an adventure?? It’s now or never!
Sounds like your double life is very much what I went through, but for me it was a relationship instead of a job.
Always inspired by your posts, it’s nice to know i’m not the only “crazy” one
Got laid off from my job in October … for the first two days, I was in shock. But the more I thought about it, it was a relief – I was in a situation that was bad and was only going to get worse if I’d stuck around. Not sure what I’ll do next, but reading your post made me realize something: that we aren’t alone in pursuit of something new and unplanned!
What an exciting adventure…I can’t wait to read more. Good things happen in Corollas. I drove mine while I lived in LA, so many years ago. No air-conditioning!
Congratulations, it sounds as though you are turning a corner
your description of that moment of joy when you saw your dog washed with sunlight was magnificent! And what a powerful enriching feeling it is to feel such joy even for a moment. sounds like you are making great progress in finding your personal happiness. it’s inspiring and encouraging for me to have this opportunity to “join you” on this journey. Thanks for including us!
First off congrats on your gutsy move. Takes a lot of courage – I’ve been there and never once looked back.
You are an awesome writer. I enjoy reading your blog. Can’t wait to read more
Thank you Marilyn!
Lindsey,
Your words and work are so inspiring. There are so many kindred spirits out there. I quit my job in Mid-November, no new job, no direction, just came to the end of an unhappy progression.
I haven’t really begun my next chapter, I’m excited to be reading about yours. The “driving, talking, writing and filming” thing is genius. I drove and wrote a while back and I came back from it feeling like a kind (who inexplicably went back into his previous, unsatisfying career path…which sounds more like a joke when I write it “career path”.
My best to you.
Thank you Kevin
It’s always encouraging to know I’m not the only one who has taken this kind of “crazy” leap. Stay in touch!
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